I Sharted on Acid – Tales from the Trip

I Sharted on Acid – Tales from the Trip


– [Cody] Freakin’ swamp. Shirts off, blam. Pants are off. Scoobidy doo. Boxers come off. My wang dangler’s is all wang
jangling with each other. (funky music) Hi, my name is Cody
Harrison Reiss, and this is the time that I
shit-farted myself on acid. So I’m in Brazil,
right, I’m in a bar and it’s freakin’ bumpin’ but it’s completely empty
except for me and this one lady. She’s got a little tattoo
on her arm, it’s a 69, and I was like,
“Okay, I feel you. “Like, What’s going on dude?” So I’m like, talkin’ I’m like, “Oh hell yeah dude, “This is about to be
kissy town U-S-A.” And we’re chattin’ it up,
right, and she’s like, “Hey, you seem pretty groovy. “Do you wanna eat
some acid with me?” And then she mentions
that she’s married, and I’m like, “Oh,
well if you’re married, “Probably not gonna be
giving little kisses to each other and stuff.” So I was like, “Well, do
you wanna take that acid?” So she reaches in her
pocket, pulls out the papers, and freakin’ bon appetit, dude. We slammed those
right into our gouches and fuckin’ chomped
down on them. And we’re walkin’ around and whenever I’m in
nature on psychedelics, I really wanna interact
with the plants a lot. Their arms, and their plant
little arms are just extending and I find myself just
kinda shaking little hands. “Lookin’ beautiful
there my friend.” – It’s so good to see you! – [Cody] So anyways, we’re
walkin’ around, talkin’ and you know, givin’ a
little heads up to plants and eventually we make
it down to the ocean. It’s like, huzzah! Fucking, water… Shore is awesome. Put our little toesies
in and oh my God, it’s like a big ol’
butter bath, my dude. Maybe we should freakin’
skimp off our little grizzlies and get in there, so we do. Freakin’ swamp. Shirts off, blam. Pants are off. Scoopidy doo. Boxers come off. My wang dangler’s is all wang
jangling with each other. And we go, there’s
like little tiny waves and we’re like body
surfing a little bit and I don’t know
if anyone out there has ever body surfed
when you’re naked, but it’s like having a
big, giant massage rug like fitting to your body
as you like roll around. And eventually we’re like,
laying there on our backs looking up at the stars, and it’s this feeling of just
like, serenity, you know? You look up serenity
in the dictionary and right next to on
drugs in the dictionary, and it’s like… (popping) And there’s like so many
stars that it’s like kind of, they kind of like,
combine into swooshes of white blinkiness in the sky. And I’m laying on her chest, and every breath she takes, the world seems to
breathe with her. (exhaling) Then the sun starts to rise and it’s like a fuckin’ master
class on sick colors, dude. Like, purple’s there. It’s like, “What’s
up, dude, I’m here!” And then orange is like, “Hey dude, you forgot
about me, didn’t you?” And I’m like, “I
totally did, dude. “It’s great to see you again.” And anyway, somehow
in freakin’ God’s name we fall asleep there
and we open our eyeballs and this is like really
slowly jogging, and he goes, “Someone stole your bag.” And we look down, her
bag had been stolen. So we decided to make our
way to the police station and we get to the police station and they got freakin’ beards on and they got tank tops and they got their
freakin’ spaghetti straps. What are those called? The fuckin’ business
tooters that everybody wears back in the day. (mumbles) Suspenders. And the police chief is there. He’s a very small
guy, very big hat. He got really big
eyebrows, no teeth. His nose turned a
little to the side. I’m lookin’ at him
in the face like, “I’ll give you a scramble.” Obviously we’re on drugs, so we’re feeling a little
shifty in our boots. He turns to me and he’s like, “So are you the husband?” And I’m like, “Oh, yeah! This lady is married.” (laughs) What have
we been doing? We spent like… We just frolicked
around naked for hours, and at that point I’m like, “Okay, well I probably
should not be here.” And I decided to see myself out. And I’m starting to
feel relaxed and at ease and in this moment of
complete lack of tension, my butt cheeks unclenched, (squirting) and shit my pants. And there I am. Tripping on acid outside
of a police station on an island in Brazil, junking my shorts
with monkey chowder. What’s up? Did we kiss? Well, I’ll never tell.

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    rob bassett

    I have watched this like 12 times, I don't even know what line I like the best. strip off our grizzlys or wang jangler hahaha

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    HI How Ya doin

    That's the curse upon you for not helping your bro find her bag, dude… YOU EARNED THAT BEEF CHOWDER SHOWER, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE

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    Armando Montes De Oca

    I have done some acid and exstacy. I am an older student because I am poor going to school just before no smoking Nazi took over Florida but their proper is a God and now Mary Jo is no mo a hoe is going round. I have seen some shit and roll out with the dance alternative computer music like old harvey wood king of England and now a roll exstacy is a molly which was date rape durg name and that is normal idiot history with pimpology and buster like dead head, brilliant naming convention but mankind is a whore. My sentence is run on only.

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    Gummy

    Yeah. First time I took acid I constantly felt like I shit myself. Had a weird feeling in my ass area for the whole trip.

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    Waterlec

    Acid / sex with a married woman / & sharting. She went back to her husband and told him she was out all night trying to find her bag…

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    kg2254

    I'd done the same thing at a casino before on 3 hits. Went to go take a pee at urinal and sharted…I said out loud "oh no noo nooo." I backed up into a toilet to check the damage and had to go commando for the remainder. I was feeling very wang dangly after that

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    Chris Morris

    Yo why not stop shitting yourself when i shit myself it's mostly liquid. So one quick jet of poo water and my cheeks clench closed harder then an alter boys in prison

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    Bringadingus

    Man the way this guy talks is super annoying. Is his "comedy" just supposed to involve the way he sprinkles his speech with nonsense-words that sound like they were overheard in a high school circa 1996?

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    david mark

    Something kinda similar happened to me. I was on acid with this beautiful young woman. The LSD made her look like this goddess and I felt like I loved her. We went to this restaurant to sit at a booth and maybe drink a milkshake or something.

    Suddenly, while sitting at this booth, I am hit with the most unbelievable urge to shit that I ever had. Well, the bathroom is just a few yards away, so im thinking no problem. I go into the stall and just blow my ass out and it is so relieving. That was until i realized there was no toilet paper.

    I opened the stall, no paper towels. Now, i have literal shit all over my ass cheeks from the explosive force of the shit i took. Im in a total panic. So, in this public restroom i drop my pants and try to straddle the sink to wash my ass. Suddenly, an employee walks in and sees me staddling the sink and runs back out. I pull up my pants onto my shitty ass and walk out. Ive been in this bathroom for 20 minutes, so this hot girl has to know I was taking a massive shit.

    I wanted to leave immediately, but she didnt. Finally, I asked if she would like to go back to my place and she agreed. The entire ride there I was sitting sideways and could smell shit. I went directly in and took a shower. I step out of the shower and here is this girl with a shocked expression on her face and shes staring at my underwear in the floor covered in shit.

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    digital subliminal messages

    S T O P. R A P E I N G. B A B I E S
    Haaa/ I was really trying to …./ ….let me hear it / I was trying though// but I get the fact you guys are technically outkast too// haa/ haaa// and you want to ask why …or better yet the selection process for the passengers/where is the randomness// I wasn't sure if i could take you serious at first/then I wasn't trying to watch the fun parts…as much/ …and throw inbrain trama for extra points

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    TrespassingT-Rex

    If history was told with this amazing caliber of awesome, maybe I would have remembered anything at all.

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    Senpai is here

    Y’all ever just feel the need to throw up on acid like I be looking at the sky and out of nowhere my organs are like hey what’s up let’s party and I they fucken have a whole assss party in ur belly.

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    Top Feed Coco

    What a lame caricature of the collage of weak beta personalities from the television he's been programmed to believe he's supposed to be. You're a lameass mustachedio'd hippy faggot and I hope you shart yourself many more times.

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    Czech Mate

    Story time.
    I took 4 tabs of acid on fourth of July a couple years ago. Eventually I had to poop. I was struggling so hard, I felt like I was pushing out a grapefruit. When i finally got it out. It was the size of a pebble.

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    freethrice

    You shit your pants… at the OCEAN! Take a swim. Problem solved. Go home, get sleep. Tomorrow's another day. Yay!

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