My fitness journey | Overcoming Eating Disorders + Finding Happiness

My fitness journey | Overcoming Eating Disorders + Finding Happiness

My fitness journey My fitness journey


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    Natacha Océane

    Hey my beautiful friends! Honestly, this all feels like a totally different lifetime so I don’t reflect on it or talk about it much, but I always will if it can help in any way ❤ If you’re going through the same, keep fighting. You can and will get through 💪 Happiness is coming ❤

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    Sonicz Forever

    My BED damaged my bones and I never want to get into that state again. I am very gradually increasing my calories.I am annoyed at the doctors as my recovery completely failed. I am now an overweight person and have ruined my health. I had three years humiliation over my appearance and I am glad to see the back of it that said I wouldn't go anorexic again either.

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    Hey, It's Ray ASMR

    I just found your channel and love it! I was anorexic for 10 years and have struggled for so long with finding a balance between diet and exercise. I’ve recently started making some sustainable healthy changes and am FINALLY (for the first time in over 17 years) on a positive track. Also, your body is BANGIN’! 🔥

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    Summer Joseph

    You are not alone. I remember waking up at 5am on vaction to run 2 miles in the tropics so I wouldn't gain weight. I couldn't have one day off and my gym time got in the way of my family.

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    I remember watching videos like these a few years back when I was really trapped in my eating disorder and mental health issues etc. and feeling like I was the exception to getting help because I didn't deserve it, and that thinking healthily was impossible for me. Moving forward to now I just had my last session of therapy yesterday after going for two years, I've been seeing a dietician this year, and despite having lows I'm coping much better and appreciate the help and support I've been receiving HEAPS and can't deny the progress I've made with the help of those I've reached out to which sounds so cheesy and preachy but it's so true

    If you're struggling please know that you deserve help, you're not an exception. Things will get better!

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    abi pett

    I watched this vid a year or so ago and it gave me the push to finally recover, and now a year later I’m fully recovered and just got cleared to start weight lifting!! I’m so excited!! Thank you for inspiring me and so many others ❤️❤️❤️

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    Maggie Huff

    Thank you for sharing your story, 2 of my friends are going through this, so im over educating myself on the topic. ❤️❤️ I’m so glad you feel comfortable enough with yourself now to share.

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    Rosa Fischer

    This video actually made me cry and text my best friend asking for help, because everything you describe is me. I train up to 4 hours everyday and even though I eat "enough" in terms of volume, I just don't consume enough calories. I track everything I eat in my head and I just realised now, that i don't want to visit my grandma, because of the food she cooks. ( She puts a lot of butter on things and makes desert like most grandmas do haha ).
    Natacha thank you very very much for sharing your journey, It really changed the view on my current behaviour.
    Greetings from Germany

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    Kendra Fortin

    I swear, it’s like I’m hearing my story only someone else is telling it…we are so much alike with our body dysmorphia…how I eat and 8m stuck in the middle now, I’d love to get to the intuitive happy point…

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    Francesca Niccolai

    I overcame binge eating, just to arrive to a point of exercise obsession and restrictive eating. You are the reason why I am getting better and working towards a healthy lifestyle. Thanks you so much💛

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    Ashlee Ayre

    thanks for sharing your story, you give me so much hope that I can get to the other side of my ED. and YES please to the home guide!!! 🙂

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    Thank you for posting this video❤️—it sounds so much like me and what I used to do. I wish I had seen it sooner. I’m working on being happier and not worrying so much about calories.

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    Ross Flieger-Allison

    I loved this video. I've suffered from binge eating and sugar addiction my whole life, but I've always focused on working out and staying fit, so no one ever took my eating disorders seriously. It was reassuring and inspiring to hear that others have gone through similar struggles and made it out on the other side, stronger than ever.

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    Shanya C.

    Thank you for making me realise that I am in a really bad downward spiral. I was aware of it, but its always a thing if oh I am not that bad, not that extreme, not that obsessed and negative. The denial and the difficulty in changing one's mindset are truly hard.
    So thank you for sharing your story!

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    I saw this video a year ago, I don't know why it was recommanded to me by Youtube today but I watched it again and girl, this is a magnificent video !
    I started to work out 10 months ago, at 21 years old, and I truely feel blessed I never had to struggle with eating disorders or body dysmorphia… I feel so bad for all of you in the comments, I feel bad for all women (and men) who go through all this.. I'm sure this video will help a lot of people, and I hope that evryone will be fine in the end ! Thank you Natacha !

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    betty rdr

    i wonder if it is possible to recover from anorexia without getting another eating disorder afterwards.because in the commemts so mamy people describe having gone trought a similar procces like yours,and so do i (i don't want to burn the calories of after but i eat like unbelievabely much possibly 6000kcl but i dont want to!).But on yt just a few stories exist like this one.hope we all can find the joy of life one day🙈❣(i am german don't judge my grammar)

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    I'm recovering from anorexia right now even though I struggled with it for many years. I lost my period, I was bruising so easily, etc and my thyroid was so close to shutting down. I've been doing better now that I went with my grandma for the summer. I dont know how much I weight but they keep telling me that I'm just maintaining. I'm probably somewhere close to 90-95 pounds, but I have to at least get up to 108-110 to do marching band. I just feel like I won't look pretty or nice after I put on some weight even though it might just be muscle that comes back.

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    Diana Frederiksen

    Thank you for sharing your life with us : ) You are such a beautiful person, and you are inspiration to many because you are honest.

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    Irene Kuo

    I relate to this so much. I went through different diet choices (could never sustain it for long though.) Eventually, found out that moderation and balance was key to staying healthy and happy. I'm happy with my methods now. And then I found this page <3 Knowing that I'm doing what Natacha's doing and learning more extra stuff from her made me feel good that I'm on the right track! And I'm so glad to have someone so relatable <3

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    Leni nope

    this is soo similar to my story. thank you so much for sharing your journey, It's always good to know that you're not alone in your feelings and thoughts! Thank you once again.

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    Wren VV

    This is such an inspiring and honest story, thank you for sharing! It's wild to think about how young people are when they start to be affected by media and ideal body images, and how little comments by people about someone (that they don't even mean any harm by) can shape this mentality getting older. So glad you were able to overcome your hardships and become the inspiring individual on youtube you are today!!

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    Caroline Begala

    you are so strong and I can completely empathize your situation. Everything you talked about I could relate to, and it feels nice to know I was never alone. you're very inspiring and I hope that one day Ill be as recovered and healthy as you are

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    Rachel Rojas

    I’m recovered from anorexia and I’m training to be a powerlifter, I’m watching this after my workout and I’m trying not to cry. You are so brave for sharing this.

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    Lea in recovery

    Hei, I'm struggling with orthorexia and anorexia at the moment and this really inspired me to keep going and start my channel!!❤❤❤

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    Eleftheria Bobola

    Your videos have helped me so much! I only discovered you like 3 days ago but watched way too many of your videos and subscribed lol. I suffered from anorexia last year for a relatively short amount of time-about 2 months. I clearly remember that I hadnt eaten any junk food for like 20 days which is quite extreme. I lost 4 kgs the first month and my family was worried. I then started eating more and became obsessed with clean eating but it wasnt sustainable. I would eat an apple and 7 almonds as a snack at school 4 hours after breakfast and would wait another 4 hours to go home and eat lunch. And that snack would keep me full for at most 2 hours- I was basically starving myself. I would then return home, eat lunch and binge on random things like bread, raisins, cheese. Most days I would eat at the point of physical discomfort and I always felt so bad afterwards. I then started weight training and started counting macros and calories but I still had an unhealthy relationship with food. I would eat super healthy the whole week and have one ‘cheat meal, per week but that cheat meal would be like a snickers bar, something really tiny. I then moved to proper cheat meals once a week like a cheeseburger or crepes with nutella and banana, but still ate 100% clean all week. The last few days I have been eating 80-90% clean and the rest fun foods and I’m happier than ever! Although my relationship with food isnt completely fixed, because I do count calories and macros, the 80/20 rule has really helped. I do plan to stop tracking as I eat quite intuitively anyways. Thank you so much for your content.

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    Jess jms

    I love the last picture in the thumbnail, I want that kind of body for myself. A healthy muscular, toned, strong looking and happy woman.

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    Thanks for sharing, which is surely not an easy thing to do.

    Myself I had it the other way round, I was becoming fat when I was a teen. My mother was a long time ill and my father was taking care of my nutrition and i wasn't too good obviously. So i got mobbed by other children and started to do sports but i could not get really slim and my body stayed skinnyfat so to say in some parts. This made me very depressive in my later teen years and I was quite the lonely fellow.
    But eventually and thankfully i got over it later on, when i became successful in my job and got the respect and love of others.
    Nowadays I'm still not as lean as I sometimes wish to be but I arranged with myself, liking myself, doing the amount and kind of sports I really like and live the lifestyle I want to. And yes the lifestyle is on some days not the healthiest one, but I am at peace for this with myself. I came to respect myself, my efforts in sports and the life I live, which I have chosen – for better or worse – and know the consequences.

    Dunno why I even wrote this, maybe because I am in a good mood for this after watching Natacha's Vid. So thanks again.

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    Sarah Müller

    Hey Natacha,
    I can't really explain myself as good as many other people in your comments but I just wanted to let you know that you are helping me so much right now. I feel like you get my greatest fears about my body and we kind of have (or you had) the same thoughts…
    In this comment section I am now going to promise you (and my own body) that I am going to get better.
    I don't want to stress about my look/ calories anymore.
    I am more that sick of my own always ongoing fear of getting heavier even though I am getting smaller and smaller and everybody around me is getting worried too…
    I don't want attention because of the worries people have about me, I want attention for the good things I do.
    Natacha, you might never are going to read this, nevertheless I must say thank you.

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    Nayeli Diaz

    This answered so many questions I went/going through some of the same things but I’m starting to become more comfortable with food. This was so good I love how realistic you are, I love your videos ❤️❤️❤️

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    Michelle Pacional

    Hi im new to your channel .. ive been doing so many "diet plan" and exercises that make me feel so tired for the whole week . And im not happy. I can lose weight but it feel like not enough. I will start my journey to happiness.

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    Karena Forbush

    Biochem? Biophysics? Holy shiz!! It sounds so cool!! Thank you so much for making this video and I’m glad you’re in a healthier place ☺️❤️

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    I literally relate to this exactly. I definitely want to get help especially after watching this video. Did you just go to a regular therapist to help you with your eating or was there a specialist with a specific title to help. I want to look one up in my local area. Also thank you so much for sharing, you are honestly a big inspiration and I really appreciate you always being honest with everything❤️

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    I didn't know there was a sientific word for the way I see/can't see myself. The first time I started to think that something was wrong with me, was when I was nine and I was on a seesaw with a boy, who couldn't lift me. They made fun of me a lot after that. The Thing is: I was nine. The boy was about four or five. Of course, he could't lift me. After that I stopped being on fotos, dressed myself in oversized clothes and started getting comeptetive in school. When I couldn't be pretty I wanted to be smart at least. I gained like 30 pounds in 3 month, when my parents divorced, couldn't stopp binging and looking for diets at the same time. I had to repeat a year because of the divorce and after that it was a downward spiral: I'll never manage to be beautiful and now I showed everyone that I wasn't smart either. I got loudmouthed and prideful after that. I only started to get better after I hit a low in university with 23/24. I hated myself and my life so much and I didn't know how to change that, did some therapy and learned to cope and love myself. I still got troubles but I pretty much love my life now. I just wished I didn't have to suffer vor over ten years to come to this point. But thanks for the video and the honesty. Maybe you can help others before they downspiral to badly!

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    Roger Syversen

    The fallacy that everyone believes is that the body is static — that you are some concrete tangible solid state. This ideology is perpetuated by the technology of the photograph. What people dont realize is that the body is a process.

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    Paige Simonavice

    thank you so much for sharing this, there is so many similarities in my story that started when I was only 16 years old and now that I'm 21 feel confident enough to recognize how terrible my relationship with food and working out has been. It's just very refreshing to hear that I'm not the only one to struggle with this and you are so inspiring to have shared and overcome something so difficult. thank you!!

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    Cindee Khakdoust

    You are beautiful and joyful. Please talk to people about how long it takes to be in shape. It is not 4 months to a great shape as so many marketers say.

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    Alice V

    Holy shit. I know this video is old and you're never gonna see my comment, but thank you Natacha. I didn't experience all of the disordered behaviours that you did, but the thoughts & triggers surrounding initially entering your ED are completely me. It's like someone else is inside my head. Thank you so much for this – it gives me hope that one day I'll be normal again. <3

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    Emily Hou

    Thank you so much for sharing Natacha! I'm a bit late to the party but I recently started watching your videos and have struggled through similar issues throughout college (or as you guys say, university ;)). It was so hard to overcome and I still kind of struggle everyday (I am 4 years out of college now) but seeing you so happy and able to intuitively do everything in your life makes me want to keep striving for full recovery. I hope to get to where you are someday 🙂

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    Spec Ops

    I had the same problem 2 years ago except that I wanted to be big and muscular.As a guy,I always had the mindset that we have to be broad shouldered with ridiculously wide and thick upper bodies and back then i was scrawny and weak with withering muscles and I even had scoliosis which affected my symmetrical strength in both sides of my body.In 2017,I started taking the gym seriously and going off in my workouts with heavy compound lifts followed by isolation lifts for my arms.I was also eating a lot of red meat due to my high metabolism just to compensate.I ended up with high cholesterol and had to detox for two months just doing cardio and calisthenics while eating only high protein foods while sustaining a low calorie diet.Several months later,I would attempt to bulk up again but this time I was eating double quarter pounder burgers for lunch everyday for another two months.The results was me going from 54kg to 57kg with most of the weight consisting of fat rather than muscle.I ended up training like a US Marine to balance out everything.It was then I started to realize that everything comes down to balance like for example,I am only about 160cm in height so I should not be too large in size or else it will slow me down in movement be in walking,running,etc.We all will have insecurities and moments that we over obsess in perfection.Its perfectly normal but overindulgence will harm us rather than help us.Thks for being so honest in sharing your personal story with the rest of us.We all appreciate it.Keep being yourself and being happy cos you only live once in this lifetime😊

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    Justine Thompson

    You are an amazing person this video was so brave , I only found you a few days ago and you have massively changed the way I look at life and food , I've already upped my calories to 1600 from around 500 a day , I'm hoping so stop having to count them and I've stopped weighing myself daily . Thank you so much 💖

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    Pepita Constable

    Ive been binge watching your channel since i found it yesterday i still dont understand how it took you so long to build that amount of muscle mass…

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    Ale Stamm

    From most of the photos put up I think your figure looks great in most of them, even at your heaviest it looks amazing. So many people think if you have an eating disorder you must be over or underweight, but you've had a great figure (whether slim and less muscular, or more lean) the whole time. Just goes to show how much can really be going on in your mind, and how that can allow someone to have a distorted view of themselves. Also shows no matter how good you look it may not necessarily be the healthiest..
    It's so good to see your relationship with food has got to where it is now 😀

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    Vanessa Edits

    I can relate to your story so much, for months I struggled with anorexic like tendencies, needing to under eat and isolate myself. I lost 5kg in under 2 months and was about 56-57kg which yes it’s not that low but idk. Somewhere in the last few months I did a huge turn around while trying to recover and started to actually over eat. I’m back at my original weight 62kg and I eat sweet food every night and although I don’t eat a huge amount, I eat until my stomach hurts a bit and it’s only causing pain and weight gain. I always make plans to stop but fail every time. Anyway that’s enough about me, you’re an amazingly kind and funny person. I love your story and your videos💙

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    Gitte Van de velde

    I am 1m66 and weigh about 47 kg. I have a bmi of 17, makes me borderline underweight, my minimum weight would be 5 kg more. But I eat three full meals a day, some snacks in between whenever I feel like it. Not all necessary 'healthy' stuff (chocolate! CHOCOLATE) I drink tons of water though and ignore the existence of junk food and soda, don't really crave it. As exercise I just do some random squats or push-ups and some stretching morning and evening. Some days that may just be the stretching, other days I do 40 ab exercices (no resistance or anything, just on my bedroom floor) 20 push ups and 50 lunges, squats and other leg exercices adding up all my 'randoms'.

    I do have slight abs, and when I flex my arms (which are insanely thin unflexed) and legs I do have some muscle tone, also in my back. am naturally underweight with eating moderate to healthy and a decent amount and exercising regularly (what I do in total in a week equals to a few hours in the gym I guess). I am thin, for sure, but not boney as a whole: my arms are a bit and my wrist (I put weight un my lower body) but, I have a butt. My measurements (shoulder, chest, waist, hips) are 90 – 80 – 60 – 90 cm more or less. I am generally just confused as to wether it is somewhat healthy what I am doing, if it's 'normal' to have a combination of the physique I have, with the exercising + eating what I do, feeling quite healthy and fit and my low bmi. There is very little content out there for naturally thin girls like me and I am honestly just confused.

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    Blipperm Blippern

    Can You please do a body workout with no waigts and just USE your own body waitgh!!!❤️❤️❤️

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    Millie Mcgrath

    This really hit home. I related to so much of what you just said. I have suffered for years now with anorexia and I have just finished my GCSEs and while I was revising I stopped training and started binging so I gained a lot of weight and now I have been trying to lose weight for ages and am currently restricting myself to 500 calories a day but often do mini binges which makes me feel so guilty so I restrict even more, I can’t lose weight and I feel so scared to eat more even though I want to because I don’t want to gain weight. I feel so stuck and I don’t know what to do 😔

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    Claire Lin

    I am literally shocked, exact same age, exact same experience even the mindset and walking part. But I already came through all this by going through bulimia this summer, and slimmed down by doing your exercises, now living a healthy lifestyle. Thank you Natacha, so funny I worked out with your videos first then saw this video 🙂

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    Corina Verdes

    I really enjoyed thar video and love your courage of sharing you personal experiences with the world. You are an amazing person! I'm looking forward to more of your videos!

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    Jillian Kayleigh

    Watching this a bit of a year later, but you feel like the big wise fitness sister to me. thank you for that.

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    Giyibiti Vam

    I am new to your channel and I really appreciate this video. As someone who had never been able to withhold their weight for more than a year with out going to extremes and also perusing a degree in science, I felt very identified with your stories. Thank you for sharing your experiences and learnings.

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    Raquel SG

    I can´t believe it took me so long to find you! I am LOVING your channel. Thank you for the hug LOL. I am now part of the family! Greetings from Spain! Besos!

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    I recognized myself several times in this video. I also recovered very good, not that I'm done with it, but its going very good. Thank you for sharing your experiences, it helps do many people to not feel alone and wake up, to realize that there's something wrong. And to all the poeple being in the same place right now: get help. Fucking talk with a friend about it, someone you trust. You have to admit that it's too hard to get over eating disorders alone.

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    Shelly Begeske

    Just found your channel and have to say that how you explain things and go about things is great! I am, literally, old enough to be your mother, BUT I know I am not too old to learn how to exercise and eat for my body. I love where you say you need to find what works for you and keeps you motivated. For me, that was yoga. I also like strength training, though more so with body weight than actual weights (and I still use those, too). Keep up the awesome messages and tutorials. And thank you for your story about how you changed your relationship to food. You will, no doubt, help so many people with your honesty!

    On an unrelated note, visited London for the first time this year and LOVED it! Can’t wait to come back and see more of the city.

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    Miguel Reyes

    I’m truly thankful of you sharing your story with food and binge eating; at times it felt like you were telling my story with how you felt with food and yourself. I just got done with my second binge today, feeling like crap because of it. I want to change but it’s hard to change. I’m going to try and copy the things you did that helped you succeed so that I can have a chance of success with my emotional binge eating. I appreciate you taking the time to share your story.

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    Badass Andrade

    It’s amazingly crazy how LITERALLY EVERYTHING you mentioned was something I struggled with for a long time. I underate with less than 500cals at times, I thought people were crazy when they told me I was slim, I got traumatized when someone asked me why my arms were so big in high school, I put too much on my plate and stressed out, started binging weird foods at home and refused to eat in public for shame, worked myself too hard and hurt myself. I pretty much had eating disorders with doing too little, too much, and being too health conscious. And now I’m in the healthiest shape I’ve ever been (physically, mentally, emotionally) thanks to everything I’ve relearned about what proper fitness and nutrition really looks like. still have a long way to go but never felt more excited about it!

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    Bena Sophia Hotz

    i have always felt ashamed of speaking up because of binge eating. thank you so much for this video, i wish you all the best!!

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    The Truth Sets You FREE

    Is closed captioning still working in this video? It doesn’t show on this video 🤷🏻‍♂️ Could you please try to turn on YouTube’s automatic closed captioning?

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    Tiffany Hardiman

    Thanks very much for sharing your story ❤️ .. I know I’m late to the party as you posted this a while ago but it’s still a current theme with girls and women in every day life and something which many find hard to talk about. Hopefully people who have and are struggling see this and know that it’s ok to ask for help. ❤️

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    Sara Santi

    I feel the same way.. I’m used to doing almost every single thing you did and I don’t feel good about myself at all… I hope to get through it, as I’m not going to surrender but I’m going to keep up the hard work! Thank you very much for sharing you experience. You’re such an inspiring girl who has helped lots of us. ❤️

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    chris bowser

    i went through my teen years overweight. i was picked on constantly by family, kids, and non friends. as i went through life i was anorexic, bulemic, and body dysmorpic. i would cut myself, and self destruct. i did everything to lose weight. i have lived a life of being ashamed of my body. at one point i was so thin, the doctor thought i was sick, but i felt fat, and would get mad if people said i was too thin. i am 50 years old now and still battling this battle. i eat healthy and go to the gym 3 days a week…. the difference between me and everyone else is—I AM A MAN!!!

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    Sophia S.

    Heey Natacha,
    I am really not a person who is writing comments under videos or sth.. but i just came up to your account and your videos. I think i just spent 2h of watching your videos about your fitness-journey and so on, and I really need to say that you helped me so much right now. You gave me so much more confidence and strength it’s unbelievable. I kinda went through the same stages like you, with restricting calories, doing sports only to feel better about my body and how i look and i was only focusing on what others are thinking about me.
    I started studying nutrition and economics at university (🇦🇹) and through all this new knowledge and probably also because i just wanted to be super healthy or kinda sth, I also suffered from kinda orthorexia and just eating clean food.
    This was also the time when i started to go to gym and worked out like a maniac.. actually 95% cardio only – of course with being always unhappy and not in a good mood.. i just sufferd from undereating the entire time..
    After a long time actually, i finally got back into a real and healthy realtionship with food, that there are nor „goods“ and „bads“.
    Of course after refeeding of the huge amount i was restricting all the time, i was gaining some weight, cause my metabolism wasnt used to it, to get so much food. And i also had some bad days or even still have some bad days where i feel sometimes not confident im my skin.
    But like you as well said, in all your videos what i watched the last 2h, food should be your friend and not the enemy. Food should be the fuel for your body, and thats what i also needed to learn after such a long time of period in my life. Even if i just restarted to lift weights about half a year ago, i learnd to stay calm and the results will show up. Youre really speaking for me in these videos and probably for so many other young women around the world. I really needed to realise it for myself too, and i understand every step you’ve made through the past years.
    And it motivates me and give me really much power and strengh that i am not the only one with this kinda past and problems. And i am as well looking forward to the future and i really hope that i will be one day as successful as you are in the fitness-journey.
    I hope i can learn more from you, keep going!
    Greets from Austria (and of course sorry, if there are some grammar mistakes or sth 😅)
    Sophia 💕

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    Wow ok… I knew I'll be touched by the video but I ended up crying, because it's just so what's happening in my head and what have been my life for as long as I can remember. I'm still in this never-ending loop and I don't think I'm managing it well. I'm training now but not enough and I'm still conscious and worried when I eat. It's good to see that people are going through the same thing and are feeling better every day. Thx

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    Nora Burke

    im late to this vid so i dont think anyone will see this but i used to overeat a lot and i was rlly over weight. now i lost 50 pounds and still going but im afriad since i eat two small meals a day i wont know how to eat regularly when i get to my goal. if anyone sees this and has been thru the same thing pls respond lol

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    Paige Lapp

    First of,, I want a home guide! I am volunteering in Jamaica and do not have access to a gym or weights. Also. Currently reverse dieting. I have a very very similar story to yours, but you and some other beautiful strong women vloggers have inspired me recently to change my habits. It has only been about 1.5 weeks but I havn't gained weight or feel fat so thats awesome! i had no idea that it was possible.

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    Jade Stuart

    You have such a lovely authentic, warm energy about you. Thank you for being so honest. I could really relate to being so open minded you struggle to form a side. Really made me smile. Keep doing and being you ❤️

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